*Penumbra en noche buena

Penumbra= Situación en que hay poca luz pero no se llega a la completa oscuridad. Una especie de eclipse parcial que hay entre la parte que esta iluminada y la que esta completamente oscura.

Repaso muy seguido la conversación de nuestra ultima cena, y el filo de las repeticiones me hace ver que tal vez todo tiene un significado. Ya han pasado dos “noches buenas” sin ella, y las historias, recuerdos, charlas grabadas en mi memoria a traves de los años se repiten constantemente. Me parece que con el paso del tiempo el dolor de no tenerla cerca es mas fuerte que los recuerdos de los buenos momentos con ella (los cuales fueron muchisimos), quizás lo peor es que mientras el regocijo de los buenos recuerdos invaden tu memoria es difícil no sentir horror cuando al final de aquellos recuerdos te das cuenta que esos momentos nunca mas volverán.

No hay día que no me acuerde de ella, no hay día en que no me paré a pensar en ella en algún instante por uno u otro motivo. Nostalgia, mezclada con los recuerdos acumulados se juntan para que la sensación de presencia sea siempre más fuerte y no se desvanezca. En realidad no se puede dejar de contar con alguien simplemente por que ya no podamos verla. Todos aquellos que han perdido un ser querido seguramente comparten esa misma sensación.

Dicen que hay que darle tiempo al tiempo, y dejar que todo fluya naturalmente. Pero en estas fechas festivas es difícil para mi no sentirme triste. Ese dolor es inevitable en estas fechas. Desear una “Feliz Navidad” se hace muy difícil, especialmente si existe un vacío en nuestro corazón. La Navidad para mi madre era un evento super importante, era algo que iba mas allá de los regalos o la comida. Era la noche buena, la noche en que nuestra familia se juntaba y dábamos una recopilación al año transcurrido. Por veinte dos años mama, mi hermana y yo pasamos la noche buena juntos en familia. Lo peor de todo es saber que cada año tendremos que enfrentarnos a ese dolor y a ese vacío igualmente que a la primera Navidad que pasamos sin ella.

Me propongo a intentar buscar la forma de que estas fechas sean lo más agradable posible, puesto que nombrarla, pensarla, brindar o poner una vela por ella aunque derrame algunas lágrimas, me reconfortará en cierta forma por haber podido honrarla. Pienso que eso es lo que ella hubiera deseado. Así que en esta noche hare tres cosas en su honor:

1. Un brindis: Recordare a mi madre en esta noche buena con algunas palabras que vayan dirigidas directamente a ella. Recordar la alegría con cual ella celebraba esta noche al tener a sus hijos con ella a su lado.

2.Recuerdos felices: Así como exprese en el primer paso, en vez de ponerme triste por su ausencia, recordare los momentos más divertidos que pasamos en otras Navidades. Mirare viejas fotos y videos. Esos recuerdon me transportaran a un pasado surrealista donde todo era normal y aun no sentiamos el acecho de la muerte.

3.Una vela: Agradecer por lo que tengo y por todo lo que ella me dio. Gratitud por las cosas buenas y las personas importantes que existen en mi vida. Gratitud por todo lo que ella hizo por mi y por mi hermana. Por haber sacrificado su propia felicidad por darnos una mejor vida.

Esa penumbra que siento en estas fechas hace que me sea difícil disfrutar y celebrar la Navidad como antes. Pero trato de entender que celebrar estas fechas no significa olvidar a quien no está, sino que de forma contraria significa aceptar que ella ya no está, aceptar ese vacío, recordarla pero seguir viviendo y disfrutando del legado que ella dejo con nosotros, y de que hoy por hoy, de alguna forma u otra ella sigue estando con nosotros

*MOVIE RECAP – STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (Spoilers)

After a few days of seriously pondering my thoughts and overall feelings on “The Last Jedi” (yes, I do spend considerable amounts of time thinking about the Star Wars universe), I’ve come to the conclusion that this is probably the worst Star Wars movie ever made. It is essential to note that I did like some aspects of this film, but overall, I did not love it, and I rank it very low within the rest of the series.

Going into this movie, I thought it would have many elements from The Empire Strikes Back, but it didn’t even come close. Sure, there are some similarities to The Empire Strikes Back, but this movie still feels very bland. Some of my initial concerns when Disney took control of the series are beginning to manifest after watching this movie. Here is my Last Jedi breakdown:

The Evolution of the Force:

It is now apparent Disney is establishing new guidelines to what defines the Force, new narratives, and other things we used to love about the galaxy far, far away. The First Order is the new Empire. The Jedi and Sith, as we once knew them, are gone. The original trilogy established Luke as the most powerful Force-wielding Jedi in the galaxy, so it should have been only fitting for Luke to fully showcase that power one last time, and even better if it was with a lightsaber.

Nevertheless, it was still pretty cool to see Luke use the power of the Force to project himself across the galaxy. We first saw glimpses of this ability in the original trilogy between Luke & Vader and between Luke & Leia. So we can only imagine all the powerful skills Luke had learned since episode VI. But, we can always rely on the “Legends” non-canon books, especially Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn series.

People are making a big deal online about the boy at the end of the movie using the Force and the idea that Rey might not be a Kenobi or related to the Skywalkers. To some people, it means that the Force is not exclusive to the Skywalker bloodline, and just about anyone could potentially be Force-sensitive and able to use the power of the Force. But obviously, we fans already knew that. What most people are forgetting is that in the days of the Galactic Republic, there was a system in place to detect children born with the right amount of Midi-chlorians in their blood cells, which would determine if the host could potentially be Force-sensitive. Once the Empire wiped out all the Jedi, they only kept the system in place briefly to detect remaining Force-sensitive children and thus stop any potential threats to the Sith. So the Force wasn’t always exclusive to one particular bloodline; it was just that the Skywalker family was notably stronger with the Force than most Force-sensitive beings in the galaxy.

The parts I liked or hated the least:

We finally see what happened to the Jedi Academy, and we see three different versions of the confrontation between Luke and Ben. We get to Finally see Leia use the Force, although not how I would’ve written that scene. I wanted to see Leia using the Force to stop some type of tragedy to the resistance or something of that sort.

We got to see one of the coolest scenes ever when Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern) turns the Resistance ship around and goes full light speed straight ahead into the First Order’s Star Destroyer. Truly awesome scene.

Benicio del Toro introduced us to DJ, one of the most interesting characters in this movie. DJ presents himself as a neutral character in the struggle between the new order and the new republic; he makes a few references to the military-industrial complex of the galaxy and the grotesque nature of all the fat cats enriching themselves with the unrest in the galaxy, which resonates with the realities of our current war-obsessed world.

The Parts I hated the most:

Supreme Leader Snoke gets killed off, and his origins are never fully revealed. That was a shock to me; I was expecting Snoke to have a more prominent on-going role in future installments.

I still don’t care much for Finn (he annoys me). I didn’t care much for Rose also. Two new movies have come and gone, and still no mention of Lando. The Porgs were way too annoying for my taste.

The future of the Force:

In the end, I can just summarize by saying that The Last Jedi pissed me off, and I feel strongly that it was poorly written, and by the looks of it, the outline for future star wars movies will no longer have the appeal that the previous installments had. I also feel that the upcoming standalone films will be a lot more satisfying for hardcore fans like myself. Perhaps tapping into Darth Vader and his adventures between episodes III and IV will be where the real power of the franchise should be placed. So until the next star wars movie comes out…..May the force be with you.

Three out of Five Popcorn Bags 🍿🍿🍿

*TOM PETTY: Greatest Hits

Anybody that knows me well knows that I stopped listening to or buying  “new” music years ago. Although, I do make some exceptions here and there for a few bands/musicians that I already follow somewhat religiously, like the Gallagher brothers solo work, Mumford and Sons, U2, Foo Fighters…. to name a few.

This past summer (’17), Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers announced that their current tour would be their final tour, which eventually concluded in September at the legendary Roxy in L.A.

As I have gotten older, classic rock has become my favorite genre. In the last few years, I have developed a deep fondness for Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Bowie, the Doors, and early Rod Stewart, to name a few…. but Petty, until recently, had managed to elude me musically. I simply do not know why it took me so long to notice him properly. I obviously knew of him, heard some of his music, and seen his music videos. I grew up watching MTV/VH1 daily, and those two channels always had his videos on constant rotation. I can still remember how captivated and at the same time creeped out I was when I first saw Mary Jane’s Last Dance music video in the early nineties.

Hearing about Tom Petty’s passing and reading online, all the profound love, admiration, and gratitude that regular people, celebrities, musicians, and artists were showing him really moved me. It finally pushed me to go out and buy his “Greatest Hits’ vinyl LP and give Petty a proper listen.

After spending some time giving this compilation of greatest hits a serious listen, I can’t help but feel like I’m arriving late to the Tom Petty party, songs like “Refugee” (extremely relevant to today’s political climate), “Runnin’ Down a Dream,” “I Won’t Back Down,” “You Got Lucky,” “Learning to Fly,” and “Don’t Come Here No More” among others, all those songs will now remain permanent on my Forever Petty Playlist, and of course, we cannot forget the three most iconic songs of Petty’s catalog “American Girl,”Free Fallin,” and “Mary Jane’s Last Dance.” Here is my Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers playlist: